Half Pound Down and Puree Today!

Yay! Down another half pound and puree today! Having read tons about this, I have promised myself to do it right. I WILL NOT head right for the mashed potato or make a loaded baked potato and puree it. I am going to do tuna and other fish, all the light proteins that I can hopefully morph into salad like purees with a little fat free mayo and my new Oster hand held blenderizer. It worked great on the tuna, but the way. I am also going to start the sleeve eating routine today of three meals with two protein drinks in between.

6:29AM - GO TUNA!!!!

Social Eating Success!

Ok here's the bad news first - the luncheon menu today was choice of gourmet deli sandwich on fancy bread plus sides. There was NOTHING absolutely nothing I could eat or drink except bottled water. All the drinks were carbonated. SO - I bravely got out my sugar free pudding and did what I needed to do. The only odd comment I got was from this crabby colleague of mine who always has something negative to say about everything. I felt great about doing the right thing, and I know my new stomach is thanking me for sticking with the full liquid plan. Hooray!

Worried About Social Eating

Well here I am up early again. Since my surgery, I seem to need less sleep? I can't imagine this is a real side effect or benefit, but it seems to be happening. I go to bed at the regular time and wake up about 4:30AM rested and raring to go more often than not. Have no idea why.

Anyway, today is the today of my first real social eating challenge. I am going to a mentor/mentee luncheon. The food is usually catered in and very nice, but none of it is full liquid friendly. I am sure there will be salad, I have never seen or heard about a soup at one of these. The entree is usually very nice pizza or gourmet deli sandwiches, neither of which will work. I am just very nervous about sitting with my mentee and pushing food around on my plate while she eats during the hour long luncheon. I guess I will see how it plays out and do the best I can. I am only 1 day from puree - maybe I could do a lot of salad dressing and chew the heck out of the lettuce, skipping the more fibrous veg in the salad. I don't like the thought of all the fat and calories in the dressing, but I am going to have to problem solve on this one.

Down another pound and a half today. In a new decade!! Woohoo!!!!

July Weight Loss

I keep forgetting to post my weight loss. My ticker is at the bottom of the page, but I know it's hard to see unless you scroll all the way down.

I started my pre-op diet July 1st and had surgery July 20. I lost 22 pounds in July. Just to put that in perspective, here is a picture of a 22 pound fish - I used to carry that fish around with me each day, but now I've lost it!

Facing a Challenge Tomorrow

Tomorrow I have to go to a work luncheon. I am a mentor, and the purpose of this luncheon is to get to know the mentee and basically bond over a nice lunch. There is no way I can skip this. Usually, they serve foods that are not appropriate for a 2 week sleeve. In all the years, I've never seen a soup or anything that could count as a full liquid entree. I don't know how I am going to sit there with my new mentee and watch her eat for an hour while I push food around on my plate and pretend. I am going to have to figure something out by tomorrow. Argh. I feel like this is my first REAL challenge with the social eating thing.

Major Celebration

Last night my brother introduced my husband and me to his new girlfriend. She is a wonderful, sweet, smart, pretty girl and we both just loved her. We took them out to dinner at a great restaurant, one of my favorites. I was very nervous about this because I haven't been out to dinner since getting my sleeve and, being on full liquids, had no idea if there was anything on the menu I could order. I called ahead and found that there was a cheddar broccoli soup, very thin, and a macaroni and cheese in a soup-like creamy sauce, just as much sauce as pasta. I thought, "This is not ideal, CARBS, but I will be able to order it and fake through the meal - nobody in my family knows about my sleeve except my husband and my mom. I didn't want to have to lie to my brother and his girlfriend or get into any discussions if that makes sense.

Here is the FABULOUS news - there is SO MUCH fabulous news that I am going to bullet it:

• I had no hunger feelings at all, no food envy of what other people were eating.
• I had no desire to cheat. If I had been out with just my husband who knows about my sleeve I would have ordered just a cup of the soup and been totally content.
• You know that mouth feel, where your mouth is just watering and wanting that food - GONE.
• You know that head and body feeling where there's like a pulse in your brain going EAT, EAT, EAT - gone.
• Before the sleeve, I would have shared an app, eaten a salad, and ordered an entree, probably eating at leas half to three quarters of it.
• Before the sleeve I would have eaten the leftovers before I went to bed or first thing in the morning for breakfast - not this time!
• Long story short, I ate 3-4 sleeve sized bites of the soup and 1 or 2 sleeve sized bites of the macaroni sauce AND I WAS SET!!

I can't tell you how wonderful this was. For a person who spent a big majority of each day planning food, thinking about food, stressing about food, and finally eating huge amounts of food, the control I felt at last night's dinner felt like a literal gift from God, and I do thank God for Dr. Zapata and my sleeve every single day. It is like being released from some kind of hellish slavery where food calls all the shots. Thank you, thank you, thank you again Dr. Z. and the gastric sleeve.

Walking the Dog (And myself, too!)

Well, I haven't been walking that much this first week because I've been sore and for a few days I had a tight pain in one of my incisions, waist level, left side. It has subsided just like the wonderful and amazing Dr. Z. said it would, so I thought, "OK self, time to get back to exercising." I know I am not supposed to do any "tough" exercise like ellipticalling or lifting until 4 weeks out, and I'm not supposed to swim until 6 weeks out, so I chose to go early to our neighborhood off-leash park and walk my dog and myself, too!

I went pretty early, about 6:30AM, because I wanted to avoid a rush of larger dogs that might rear up to say Hi, accidentally smacking my incisions. It turned out to be perfect, there were 3 or 4 other nice dogs and and their people walking the trail, just enough to be entertainment for my dog but safe for me.

The dirt trail at the park loops around the perimeter for a little over 1 mile. It meanders through trees, up and down little slopes, and curves around a nice sized pond. It's a nice walk. I set a goal of doing 3 laps, a bit over 3 miles. Presurgery, this would have been the minium I did. In fact, I fully believe that I got to 213 pounds rather than 250 because I do exericise.

The first two laps were great. On the third lap, I got the strangest feeling. I wasn't hungry, and I wasn't physically tired, but I felt like I was flagging. It wasn't a lack of energy or fatigue. I didn't have a stitch in my side, I wasn't breathing hard or struggling to keep pace. By the end of the third lap, I got it - I WAS OUT OF FUEL!! Finally, for the first time in years, my body needed food for actual FUEL rather than the fun of it!

This was a GREAT feeling, to know that my body was using my food, so to speak, and indicating that it needed more rather than working off an excess. And it's perfect timing because today is the first day of full liquids for me and I can drink protein shakes! A good walk and a good day. And my dog had fun, too.

First Full Day of Work, Last Full Day of Clear Liquids

First full day of work and I am totally beat and hungry, thirsty or something. I also realized today how much I coped with work stress by eating. I think I must have grazed my way through each day! It was a great feeling NOT to do that, but also a weird feeling of, "Man, I want to eat one of those deli sandwiches that everyone else is munching down on. I am kind of sad I can't."

Bad stomach acid subsided around 10:30AM. I am not going to drink the SF pom/blueberry juice tonight and see if that makes a difference.

Bad Acid

Oh my gosh. BAD acid this morning, first time! The only thing I've done differently is drink a shot glass of straight bourbon haha that's a joke, SF pom/blueberry juice. Maybe that's enough to do it? I took my perscription med from Dr. Z and am hoping this acid goes away soon. It's very uncomfortable and I am burping like a mad woman.

For breakfast, going to do sugar free cranberry, broth, and water but really don't feel like swallowing anything on top of this feeling in my tummy.

Drank the Liquid by Noon

I am so relieved. I drank all the below-mentioned liquid - 4 ounces sugar-free juice, 4 ounces low-sodium chicken broth, 8 ounces water - by 12 Noon exactly.

Now here it is 12:10 and time to think about lunch. My clear liquid lunch today is a sugar-free Jello, cherry, and 4 ounces of Apple juice (also sugar free) along with that 8 ounce glass of water that is just so difficult for me to drink! I am going to try my best to get all this liquid, and the Jello for that matter, in me by 5:00PM and then recouperate for 30 minutes before planning the dinner rush. At least I did better than yesterday!

Liquids Are Going Down!

I am thrilled to report that the liquids are going down. I predict that I will be able to down it all by noon, a big accomplishment for me. So that will be 4 ounces sugar-free juice, 4 ounces low sodium chicken broth, and 8 ounces water for a total of 16 ounces of liquids! 64 - 16 = 48 - perhaps I will be able to drink 48 ounces more by the end of the day. I hope so! My surgeon, surgery representative, and nutritionist all emphasized that getting enough liquids, namely water after the clear liquids phase, is key. I feel pretty good!

Clear Liquid Breakfast

Today's clear liquid breakfast: 1/2 cup low sodium chicken broth, 1/2 cup sugar free cranberry juice, and as much water as I can drink. I am having a very tough time downing 64 ounces of water each day. I haven't been able to do it. Today I awoke feeling very thirsty, so I hope to do better today.

Amazing - 6 days of clear liquids and no real hunger. I realized this morning that, pre-surgery, I most probably confused thirst with hunger, eating in both instances rather than drinking as much water as I should.

Today and tomorrow, and then I am on to full liquids with protien! I can't wait. Facing that chicken broth each day is beginning to feel like a chore - glum!

Food Regrets

I was just thinking of food regret. I've been reading a Kinsey Milhone novel and in this one, she and the protagonist often pick up fast food. In the scene I just read, they stopped at MickeyD's and got giant coffees and 2 Egg McMuffins apiece along with hash brows drenched in kechup - or maybe it was french fries drenched in kechup another time, I don't know. Point is - Kinsey does a lot of junk food eating, the exact kind of eating I'm telling myself I USED to like to do.

It made me have some regret and mourning feelings over food.

I have to say that before the sleeve, I really loved to eat. That's how I got to 5'5, 213 lbs. Food was my go-to for anything and everything - celebrations, sorrow, stress, sadness, happiness,boredom, movies, occasions, you name it. I would get upset over my fatness, yet cap it off by getting ice cream. Can a person use food to calm themselves down? Yes, indeed they can. Plus, I just really enjoyed it. And I ate big and cheap - I liked a good Big Mac with large fries and diet coke along with a Filet of Fish sandwich and maybe a regular cheeseburger to scarf in the car on the way home. That's not to say I didn't like quality food as well, a steak and lobster dinner hit the spot too, Brie and other good cheeses, nice crackers, good breads, recipes I'd make and then end up eating the most of, more of than my husband and sons put together. I love (loved?) gourmet stories like Harry and David, Dean and Delucca.

It's a great feeling to lose that type of hunger. I am totally in agreement with the ghrelin theory, that when the the doctor removes that portion of the stomach he is also removing much of that hormone production that sparks the drive to eat. Honestly, pre and post surgery are night and day for me. I haven't eaten a solid food or cheated once on my liquids, and more importantly, I have felt no particular urge to do so. This evening, I think I felt a real hunger pang, so I warmed up a half cup of chicken broth and now I'm good. I absolutely could not have done that before surgery. No way. It's the best feeling.

Still, I have a few feelings of mourning for eating, tucking into a big plate of something. I'm so happy, and I feel so free and like I have a second chance, but it's a little bittersweet, too. Weird.

Here is an example of a sleevester clear liquid lunch: 1/2 cup sugar free cranberry juice, 1 sugar free Jello cup. Before surgery I could have easily downed a house salad, 8 ounce steak, loaded baked potato, side of vegetables, and dessert at any given meal. Today I predict that I will be able to eat about 1/3 of the Jello cup and drink 1/2 of the juice. I am finding it easier to eat beverages with a spoon rather than drink them. Dr. Zapata said that this would improve with time.

Dr. Zapata

Dr. Zapata - words cannot describe how much I respected, trusted, and genuinely liked this wonderful man.

Morphine Hell

Hello, Readers!

Let's get right down to it - Morphine Hell.

NEWSFLASH: Morphine has random side effects on some people. This is all within the normal range and totally unpredictable. One of the random side effects is the inability to pee.

Now, your body feels like you have to pee, and your bladder is telling you to get to the bathroom, and you feel like you might just rock out pee right there on the spot, so you untangle yourself from your covers and painfully sit up, pulling yourself to your feet to struggle to the toilet dragging your IV, your drain and bag, your circulatory wraps drooping and flapping, your bootie flapping in the breeze, you make it over the bathroom threshold, ease yourself gingerly down on the pottie and after all that - no pee. So you hang your head and give a little wail of exasperation and pull yourself back together and do the whole thing backward to get back to the bed, exhausted and still needing to pee.

Where, you lay down and try to sleep for an hour until the urge to pee just becomes nigh unbearable. So you do a repeat of the above routine with the same result - no pee.

By this time, you are starting to suspect that something might be slightly wrong. You don't know exactly what, but you think it's time to check, so you call the nurse. The nurse comes right away, and you point to "No puedo orinar, mi vejiga esta muy llena (I am unable to urinate, my bladder is very full)" on your Spanish translation sheet. The nurse pats your shoulder comfortingly, nods her understanding and leaves the room. For a moment you are nonplussed, but she returns immediately with -TAHDAH - the wonderful Dr. Zapata.

How can I give credit to Dr. Zapata with mere words? He is just so wonderful. I just have such fond memories and feelings about him. If he were here, I would want him to be my primary physician, no question.

ANYWAY - Dr. Zapata knew what was going on immediatley, and explained to me that the inability to pee can sometimes be a side effect of morphine. While not common, it is certainly not strange or unusual, hence the prompt on the Spanish translation sheet. He asked if I had ever had morphine before. I had not. He nodded, letting me know that in any future situations involving morphine I needed to explain my reaction to the doctor so they could either use a different pain medication or be prepared with a !!!CATHETER!!! and he'd just get mine ready now.

Now I'd never had a catheter before, so I was very apprehensive. I am ashamed to say that even after traveling on my own to Mexico to have weight loss surgery, getting the surgery, and recovering from the surgery, even after all that, I balked at the idea of getting a simple catheter. I was in complete misery, my bladder was totally distended and I felt like I was going to explode, but just couldn't face having that thing stuck up there. Dr. Zapata did try to convince me and he was genuinely sorry and concerned that I said no, he knew I was in misery, but I would have none of it. I could tell he thought I was being foolish (which I was), but he finally said, "Lucy, this is really your decision. Do you want the catheter or no?" I peeped out a meek, "No." Dr. Zapata shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "So be it," and said he would check on me soon.


Fast forward to 1 hour later - distended like a giant balloon, I called the nurse, pointed to the Spanish translation sheet, and begged for the catheter. I would have dropped to my knees had I been able. People, let me tell you. I was so miserable as she stuck that catheter in there that it actually felt like a welcome relief. Words cannot express the wonderfulness of it. Release. Nirvana. Bliss. A return to humanity. The world at large seemed like a better place, I'm not kidding. When the nurse was finished and I was laying there in peace, Dr. Zapata came in to check. Despite all my earlier protests, he never once said "I told you so." He just held my hand and said, "Next time, you'll know," leaving me with kind words and a hug.

Long story short - if you get morphine and can't pee, don't mess around. Go for the catheter.

Laters!

Surgery 2

Okay, picking up where I left off. It seemed like I had just gone poof! into blessed lah-lah land when I was waking up in recovery. I was attended by not 1 but 2 yes that's 2 very kind and gentle nurses. This was very helpful when I needed to use the restroom as the nurses supported me on each side and helped me limp along until I made it. In a nutshell they were just very helpful in every way. I had a slightly embarrassing bout of belching on the way to the restroom. A side effect (if you could call it that) of laprascopic surgery is really intense bloating and gas - they really blow you up like a balloon during that surgery. Anyone who's doing this type of surgery can expect to toot and burp like a son-of-a-gun when there finished. I knew this going in, but I didn't realize that I would belch with each step - that's right with EVERY SINGLE STEP. The first belch - a big one - popped out of me as I took my first step to the restroom. I remember gasping in horror and covering my mouth with my hand. The second belch popped out of me as I moved my other foot forward, hand still at my mouth, a literal belching machine. Boy, was I embarrassed until the nurses pulled my hand away and said, "No, no, good, good!" Apprently, the only way to get rid of that gas is to move it around by walking and belch or toot it out. The faster you get rid of it, the more comfortable you are and the better off you are on the inside.

So back to the bathroom - I made it to the bathroom only to find that I couldn't go, so back to the recovery bed I went. I don't know how long I layed in recovery, it's pretty blurry. I do know there was pain. This is normal and to be expected with the sleeve, but I had not mentally prepared myself for this as I had planned to get a lap band up until my arrival in Mexico, so it was a bit disconcerting. (Lap band pain, from what I hear, is actually more of a discomfort than pain). My pain was concentrated on the left side right below the rib cage, I would call it sharp. Any movement at all made that side of my body feel as though part of me could tear loose. I remember thanking god for the leftover effects of the anesthesia as well as the pain medicine, to be without those would have been pure misery.

Now things get interesting. In the bed next to mine - this is still in recovery, not in my hospital room which was private - they wheeled a Spanish-speaking woman who had just gotten a gastric bypass and was also recovering. Our recovery strategies seemed to be a bit different. While I, a product of my midwestern hayseed background, attempted to bite down on the pain and crunch it all in, this woman was of the school of letting it all out: "Dios mio! Ohhhhhh, dios mio, dios mio, ahhhhhhhhh, ayy, ayy, then Spanish words which I am sure were something akin to "Dear god, the pain, the pain, Oh my god I can't take it this is torture," and so forth. I have to tell you, in my mind I was saying Amen, sister. If my sleeve was hurting the way it did, I can only imagine what she felt with her bypass. Then, something unusual happened. Somehow, in my hazy state, I felt my inner resolve slipping. It was like all the emotions of the next door dios mios and ayayay's became contagious to me, and I started to feel a little melodramatic myself, some sort of post-surgery suggestive state. All this built up in me and a rocked out a little "Ohhh!" of my own only to find - taadaa! Dr. Zapata immediatly swooping back the curtain and sitting down to hold my hand and reassure me with kind and loving words none of which I can remember. The Mexican patient's doctor also sat with her and reassured her in a lovely deep Spanish voice. How long was this episode? I have know idea. It felt like forever, but was probably 10 minutes at most from start to finish.

The next step was being wheeled down to my room, and what a room it was! A private room with a sitting area. A comfortable chair and couch which could be pulled out into a bed. Two televisions, one for the sitting area and one for the hospital bed. There were louvered doors between the sitting area and the hospital bed area so that one could have as much privacy as one needed. The bathroom was tiled in marble with beautiful fixtures. There was a walk in shower, also marlbe-tiled, with a built in bench and rain-drop style shower head. Very nice!

The hospital bed itself was very comfortable. The sheets and bedding were high quality cotton and velour, nothing synthetic, itchy, or "thready." The pillows were down, nice quality, very comfortable. Boy was I relieved to get situated in that comfortable bed in that nice room and get the first doses of pain med, anti-nausea, and antibiotic shot into my IV by my very professional, competent and caring nurse. I remember my nurse apologizing to me because she did not speak English! This nearly brought a tear to my eye. I tried to communicate as best I could that she should not be sorry, that I should be sorry for my horrible Spanish. I remember her giving my should a reassuring pat and then I drifted off to sleep.

Next installment - morpheine hell.